it goes something like this.
i read/listen/experience and reflect. i get a depressing epiphany. i am sucked into the fast whirlpool of black muck where darkness feeds itself. i get breathless and my heart feels caged.
then i’m reminded that i have you. and the world looks bright again.
I’m feeling defeated lost and abandoned. Times like this, I’ve lost the will to breathe.
water droplets off my skin, washing away that thick coat of stubborness, tiredness.
everything is crystal. i was hurt by you, though you didn’t mean it. i need you to unhurt me. that’s all. my bruised little pride isn’t the wedge, but my thinking that it was is. could you soothe me into your sweet lullaby again.
the heart needs you, to tuck it into rest, to stop that anxious hammering.
the brain needs you, to soothe away it’s insecurities, to clear away the murky heavy clouds.
sleep and you. the only things keeping me sane.
all I wanted. all I want.
nothing’s changed.
but we’re both drained.
have we changed. have we lost it.
too scared to talk, or think.
face your fears.
would you, if your fear is one of losing your newly found will to breathe.
will you.
waiting for you to get dinner ready. happy me.
it wasn’t much.. but I hope you liked it.
maybe next march, we will have a lot more choices that just the galactica.
aurora boraelis’ calling!
truth being. i take the comfort in the thought of smashing myself in my car. just to stop all this, and my stupid face wouldn’t annoy any one anymore. especially you.
would things get better. yes.
but would my thoughts get any kinder… you tame them. without you around, its a fast ticket down.
and I take comfort in going down somehow. it seems right, for crap like self.
